Lawyer Jokes

Warning: do not read to any lawyer with heart or bladder weakness .

Hopefully you're not expecting to find jokes that demean lawyers here.

Oh, lighten up! Okay, after you read this, if you think that we're off base, e-mail your comments and analysis along with a joke. We'll pass it on to the light hearted and not-so-serious in our assembly. If they agree, we'll put the joke on this page.

What's brown and black and looks good on a lawyer?
A Doberman Pincher.

It's not that these jokes aren't funny. It's that they position the profession in a place where it shouldn't be.

Exercise ...
Take the funniest lawyer joke you know and write it down.
Then make a second copy, replacing the lawyer with a handicapped person.
Next time you have a split experimental sample, (seminars or whenever
a demographically similar group is presented in two groups) read one to
one group and the other to the other.
Note the different responses.

What, Doberman Pinchers all over a quadriplegic isn't funny?

If the theory that smiling at lawyer jokes identifies us as a 'good ol' boys' who can take a joke and thus strengthens the bond between the tellers of the jokes and lawyers were correct, than the third Monday in January would be know as African American Joke Day.

Why, when a lawyer falls overboard, do the sharks leave him alone?
Professional courtesy.

The great damage from lawyer jokes is not done in the mind of the public but in the hearts of lawyers themselves. If the joke is funny for lawyers, why isn't it funny for Native Americans? Funny, in this instance, is the juxtaposition of a prejudice and a play on words. Without the prejudice it isn't funny.

Three lawyers were riding on a train along with three CPAs.
Just before the conductor came to pick up the tickets, the three
CPAs squeezed themselves into the tiny rest room at the end of the car.
The conductor said "Tickets please" and knocked on the rest room
door. It cracked open and a single ticket was handed out.
The next day the three lawyers got on the train along with
one of the CPA's. Before the conductor came, they crammed into
the john. Then the CPA went up to the door, knocked and said
"ticket please".

Lawyer jokes are part of our practice environment and market. If they reinforce a stereotype inconsistent with your vision don't ratify the stereotype by confirming the prejudice.

Many lawyers are struggling with their professional vision and value. Lawyer jokes are a symptom of that struggle; both within the profession and with those we serve. Improving our position as individual practitioners and as a profession requires both vision and linear dedication to our mission. Taking a joke is one thing, passing on the stereotype is another.

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